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Woman Caught Running Naked after Losing at Strip Poker

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May 19, 2010 by · Leave a Comment 

According to the Portsmouth news, a pair of naked poker players were caught running down the street early this morning. Police first spotted a woman, unimaginatively described as white with light brown hair, jogging down the street, totally naked. When more officers arrived to deal with this “crime”, they searched diligently to find both the naked woman and a naked man hiding behind a fence.

Following up on this threat to public safety with detailed questioning, the officers discovered that the naked pair were losers in a game of strip poker and were running around the block in their birthday suits because they lost.

Helpful police officers then escorted the still naked couple to an apartment to retrieve their clothing. It was there that the ever-vigilant police discovered the winners, to that point, in the poker tournament who were only “half naked.” One of the very attentive officers described the winners as “not shy,” However, one must note if playing for clothes and not chips there is only one way to keep score and that is to keep your clothes on (or off, depending on your point of view). The police, to their credit, did not appear to have made anyone lose track of their position in the game.

Police made sure that the naked couple could find their clothing and dress, presumably because they had lost and were therefore out of the game. There is no report about anyone else getting dressed, if the game continued, or if, in an ironic twist, they were playing Texas Hold’em.

Concerned about public safety and morals, the police officers took the time to remain in the apartment, presumably while play continued and clothes were shed, to give the man and woman verbal warnings, and perhaps some poker playing tips. The police justified only issuing a verbal warning and not arresting the man and woman because they were running naked in the street at a time when it was unlikely for anyone to see them, except for the policeman who first spotted them and then, all his friends who arrived for backup.

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